Mary of Magdala weeping outside the tomb
In the darkness before dawn Mary of Magdala is left outside
the tomb as Peter and John return home.(St. John Ch 20 )
This painting evokes her utter desolation and despair,
bitter tears and wailing.
Imagine her rocking back and forth as, perhaps, vivid
scenes from the crucifixion flash before her eyes:
"How could such a good man die like that?
He healed me... Me...so lost...even welcomed me to follow him.
And now...as if killing him was not enough...
Now they've even taken him away...
They've desecrated his tomb!"

Detail from: "They've taken my Lord away..."
Sombre colours continue the mood of despair as
Mary of Magdala confronts her fears,
bending over to look inside the tomb.
Reflecting St John's narrative, she is portrayed
as locked within the echoing thoughts that spiral towards
her in the painting. This detail shows her anguish, expressed by her response
to the angels in scraffito... cutting words into the underlying
layers of paint in a manner deliberately
reminiscent of scratching on a prison wall.
She remains imprisoned by her grief, unable to see any further.

"Where have you put him?"
It is hardly surprising that Mary fails to recognise Jesus.
It would be quite common in a hot climate for a gardener to be working so early in the morning, in the cool of the day.
In this painting I imagine Mary is still very disturbed, perhaps angry in her assumption that this gardener may have removed the body.
Her eyes are closed, still blinded by tears.

But the Risen Christ cuts right through her obsession, Calling her by name..."Mary"...

"Rabbouni"

Over the years since studying Theology I have often puzzled over our Greek tutor's comment that "Rabbouni" was a word hardly ever used except in Jewish prayers, when addressing God. So perhaps Mary had a profound experience of the glory of God in her recognition of the Risen Christ.

How, then, could this be expressed in a painting?

It clearly needed to be a very joyful painting, but just then I was going through a time of grief and darkness. Surely this painting would have to wait...

I waited for several months before finally I felt the time had come to make the attempt. The amazing thing was that it gradually grew as it was painted.

I began by experimenting with several layers of red and yellow, hoping to achieve a rich glowing light from which a figure might emerge and yet also remain hidden.

Then the foreground hands were painted almost life-size in the hope that the viewer would feel drawn into the picture. I hoped those raised hands might invite a response, an interaction, an empathy with the experience of Mary of Magdala as she recognizes the Risen Christ.

I tried to show a sense of the wonder and awe that I imagine she felt... of Jesus coming towards her, raising his hands in joyful response to her recognition of who he is. And above all, I hoped to paint it in such a way that the viewer would be drawn right into the picture, to share in her joy.

"Don't cling to me..."

I have often been asked Why would someone like Jesus ever say 'Don't touch me'... ? It doesn't fit in with his touching the untouchable leper, for example...and women often feel quite hurt by the numerous paintings (by male artists) on the theme "Noli me tangere," where the Risen Christ is abruptly turning and backing away from the rather amorous advances of Mary of Magdala. There is no Biblical evidence whatever for this interpretation...but it has sadly remained entrenched in people's minds!

The original Greek should be more accurately translated as "Don't cling to me," which surely makes more sense...

the Risen Christ needs to move on...and so does she...

"...Go and tell..."

Having puzzled for some time over how to paint this, the idea came to me whilst walking very early one morning, just as the sun was rising. I was surprised how long my shadow was as it stretched way out in front of me along the narrow pathway... and suddenly I could almost "see" Mary of Magdala setting out, back to wherever the disciples were hiding, with the light of Christ behind her, illuminating her path...

In this painting we are invited to take this journey of Mary of Magdala as a symbol for our own journey through life, with the light of Christ illuminating the way ahead....

...and what happened when Mary found them?

I imagine they were unable to take it in... as St Luke says "They thought it was an idle tale / pure nonsense..." (Luke 24 v 11)

but...maybe...just maybe...she prepared the way so that they could recognise Jesus when he appeared to them later that day...?